LIVING IN THE PAST LANE

 

If you were guessing what this picture is before you looked at the one below, you’d probably guess it to be a beginner’s knitting project…or someone’s worn gold carpet. LOL This sunflower came up from one of the seeds that we feed the little wild birds in our back yard. When I first saw the plant it had the personality of a cocklebur and I started to hoe it down. I’m glad I didn’t because….

I learned something from our lone sunflower that I didn’t know.  I’ve never watched a sunflower grow from day-to-day, but we found out that each sunflower seed coming on has its own little flower. That’s what this is a picture of.  I set the digital camera on ‘portrait’ and got up in its face (lol)  and took a picture so the little flowerets would show up.

 

There’s something of God’s creation to learn every day! This family of sunflower seeds is like the human family. As we grow older, we wilt and fade away (die) and little ones (the greats and the great greats) are born into the family to take our place.

 

While this is all happening, it all seems like slow motion to us but as we get older, we can see that it happened very fast. The Bible tells us this but we seem to just read it and don’t think too much about it…until later.

 

James 4:14 “…What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.”

 

Job 7:6 “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle.”

Since our life span is so fleeting…we should be the very best influence to our families that we can possibly be, but that should be the secondary motive. The first should be our desire to be pleasing to God and then we will satisfy the secondary……..



     

 

WHAT WERE WE THINKING?

 

When Wendell was 5 1/2 and Cara Lynn 3 1/2, Bobby and I decided that I needed to go to college and get a degree. So I decided my major (English and Literature, my loves since high-school)  and went and enrolled for the summer term.

We didn’t have to have a baby sitter because Bobby kept them all summer himself. The sitter situation was going to have to be for Cara Lynn…when the fall semester started. He took them to the barber shop every morning and it worked out fine. That summer was good for them. They have memories that are very special to them, that they would not have had if I had not started back to school.

Bobby took them to the store next to the shop and had the butcher (his uncle owned the store) cut them each a piece of bacon and he put strings on it for them, and they went out behind the store and barber shop and ‘crawdad fished’. Bobby said they had crawdads running all over that barber shop! 🙂 They still talked about that summer after they were grown.

But that is as far as God let it go. That fall after Wendell started to school, and before I enrolled for the fall semester… he woke up one morning and his stomach was very swollen. We took him to the doctor and they ran tests on him and a couple of days later we heard the bad news. He had nephritis. We were devastated! This is a disease of the kidneys and the body loses its protein into the urine as waste. So there was a period of time that Wendell didn’t grow. (He made up for it later. LOL )
The doctor told us that it was in the acute stage and if it went into the chronic stage that he would not live but about 6 more years. He had to stay in bed for 3 months…and that was the end of my college career, which was a bad idea to begin with.

Wendell took a ton of penicillin (for about a year and a half) and recovered completely. During the three months of being bedfast, Cara Lynn would stand his toy soldiers up on the end of his bed and he would shoot them off with his little gun. She would go stack them back up for him to shoot down again.

When a family really wants to put God first and take the best care of their family…and are ignorant in how to go about it….God knows how to step in and take charge of the situation….and I am so glad He does. Wendell’s illness turned out to be a great blessing over time, like so many other unpleasant things that have happened!

We knew that a mother needs to be home with her children, and that children definitely need a full time mother, but after seeing results of some families, we know it even better now.
Bobby told me that some mothers would not have let that illness of their child stop them from pursuing what they wanted to do. How can that be? What they don’t realize and what I didn’t realize is, that in doing such, we are trading pure gold for flimsy tinsel. That is not a good trade off.
That is why I feel so strongly about writing about the home and family. I’d rather our children grow up faithful to God and putting Him first in their lives, with fond memories of their mother being about them…than to have all the degrees and money this world can offer. I don’t know what we were thinking at that time. I am so ashamed that I ever even wanted to do that and it is very hard to admit. I am glad they had that summer with their dad though.

LATE NOTE: When I told Bobby that I was writing about this and we were discussing it, he said we were not going to have a baby-sitter for our little girl. He was going to keep her with him instead of doing that. Well…I love and appreciate him for that but even that wasn’t what God wanted for our family, evidently. I am thankful!

ADVICE FOR PREACHER'S WIVES, ELDER'S WIVES... AND ALL WIVES.

Because we saw so many come and go through the years, I was asked to share advice that would be beneficial for preacher's wives and others, so I thought it through and decided I could do this.  The reason the lady asked me to write this is that, we have had a larger turnover than usual of preachers in the congregation where we worship, due to hiring several first time preachers and they eventually moving on to greater opportunities. Our congregation served as a "training ground" for many years. During 13 years of that time, my husband served as an elder in the congregation, along with two other men. Since then things have happened including the death of one that caused the congregation to not have a plurality of qualified men.

 I thought of 6 important things and I hope you will find it beneficial to your life. Much of this would  apply to all of us wives.

       1. First of all, it is a mistake to teach your children that: "We have to be careful to always be good examples because...People watch us more closely...You are preacher's (or elder's) children...We are looked up to more because we are the preacher's family or elder's family...We are supposed to be better examples ...etc., etc." Rather, teach them: "We are careful to be good examples because we are Christians and we belong to Christ." We have the power to cause them to feel it is a either a burden or a privilege to be 'preacher's kids' or 'elder's kids'.

2. Do not feel like you have to be hostess to every bridal or baby shower or house-warming in the community or even in the church family. Share in these good deeds if you want to, but do not over-burden yourself to the detriment of your own family or your own spirituality. We all need time to meditate to keep our spiritual health up to what God expects of us. We need time to ourselves often...often enough that when that time is occasionally interrupted (as it will be) it will not affect us and make us feel 'used'. Feeling used is not conducive to good spiritual and mental health.

3. It is unwise to use your Christian sisters, no matter how close you are to them, as a sounding board or for getting things off your chest when it concerns your husband. When you feel as if you must talk to someone, take a prayer break (a long one) and talk to God about it. Do not tell your husband's faults, no matter how minor, to anyone in the church. This can cause a weakening of his influence as a preacher and as a fellow Christian, and oh! How we need our influence. Our influence as Christians is badly needed in this world and when destroyed, either by ourselves or by others, is hard to be acquired again.

4. Peer-pressure: It is out there...and it is real! If your children are small, you still have a head-start of peer pressure. Share your faith and talk about God's Word often. Instill it in their little hearts until it becomes a part of them. If a child of faithful Christian parents does not have a faith of his own by the time he is seven or eight years old, that child has been failed up to that point. These are the moldable years and children of preachers and future elders and deacons are not just automatically going to grow up loving and serving God. They have to be tenderly nourished up in the Lord just as any other Christian's children do. This takes time, patience and an "unhurried atmosphere".

5. Anything you do in the line of church work or for the brethren personally, let it be done in love (remembering it is also for the Lord) and not because you are the preacher's wife. If you do any good work simply because you are the preacher's wife and believe it is expected of you, you will feel burdened and it will probably show up in your attitude and in little remarks you may make to your family. Then you will be back to number one above.

6. Above all, love God and love your children. Abundantly! Sometimes a preacher's family may feel that because their hearts are filled with so much love for people and their time occupied with helping people, that their children will just automatically feel that love and feel secure. But they need to be shown that love personally in their own right. Charity (love) begins at home and overflows into the lives of people outside that home...not the other way around. So love your little ones while they are growing up. Let them know beyond a doubt that they are loved and respected as individuals in the family. They will grow up having confidence and feeling secure.     -Edna L. Ingram

ROOTS AND WINGS

ROOTS AND WINGS

It is the sweet and awesome responsibility of parents to train their children up with deep roots and faith in our Creator. It is also our job to give them wings at the proper time. But if we are not conscientiously and deliberately training them to have faith in God, we are failing them. We are either doing it or we are not...there is no guess work here.

It is much easier to give them roots. If we fail in giving them roots, it is heart-breaking to have to give them their wings, but it is the natural course of events.

Roots are important to God's people. Jesus said that when the word is sown in our hearts, if we do not have roots, we last only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the Word, we quickly fall away. (See Mark 4: 16-17).

We can blame society for making them......

Manufacturers of clothing are to blame for the styles but we are to blame if we wear them, and the way we wear them. 
For instance, I wondered why.............
men's pants drape more......and women's do not, but are snug in the wrong place.  So...I measured my husband's from the waistband to the crotch and then I measured mine that way.  His were about three inches difference between front and back...and mine were only one inch.  That 3 inches make them looser in the back and more modest. That small fact alone causes women's to be immodest.  There is a solution though.  Women need to use a rear-view mirror occasionally...and wear longer tops.  We could (unknowingly)  be causing problems for someone...and the kinds of problems that are sin.  1 Timothy 2: 9-10  and Jesus' words in Matthew 5: 28.  Something very serious.

Another article by a Christian man...with more detail:   https://www.focuspress.org/2015/12/07/when-the-church-building-becomes-a-place-of-temptation/

PREDICTING THE FUTURE: By Wendell Ingram

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to know what was awaiting us tomorrow, or next week, or next year. Of course, it is impossible for men to know such things unless it has been revealed to them by God. We are told in James 4:13-14, Now listen, you who say , “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. Although we can’t know the detailed events of the future, God has given us some very dependable indicators to assure us of what the future holds. Those indicators are found in the pages of God’s word.

The Bible contains many scriptures which assure a person of the future consequences of one’s actions or inactions. For instance, we are told in I Corinthians 15:33, Do not be misled, “Bad company corrupts good character.” Now, though I may not know everything that the future holds, I can know for sure that if I spend my time with “bad company”, my character will be corrupted and I will suffer the consequences o f such character.

Another example of a scripture that can help us predict the future is Proverbs 14:34 which says, Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a disgrace to any people. We cannot know everything the future holds for our nation. Yet, we can kn ow that if we as a people hold to God’s righteousness our nation will be blessed and exalted. On the other hand, if we as a people embrace sin, we will suffer the consequences of that sin and the future holds disgrace for our nation.
Still another example of a scripture that predicts the future is Proverbs 22:6, Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it. I cannot know what the future holds for my children, but I can know that if I train them in the way of the Lord, they will not depart from the way of the Lord and they will receive the blessings promised to those who walk in the way of the Lord.

I can also know what the future hold for me as a parent if I fail to properly train my children. Proverbs 17:25 says, A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him. And Proverbs 29:15 says, The rod of correction imparts wisdom, but a child left to himself disgraces his mother. Though I may not know the details of the f uture, if I fail to train and discipline my children, I can expect that in the future my children will bring me grief, bitterness and disgrace.
The future has also been revealed to the parents who are diligent to properly train and discipline their children. In Proverbs 29:17 we are told, Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to your soul.

It’s true that we cannot know the events of the future, but God has revealed in his word what we can expect in the future based upon how we conduct ourselves today. God has made great and precious promi ses to those who love and obey him, and I can rest assured that whatever tomorrow brings, whether good or bad, it will all work together for my good if I love the Lord. This is the promise in Romans 8:28 , And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, who have been called according to his purpose.

King David of Israel spoke with confidence about his future as he penned the words of Psalm 23. In verse six he writes, Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my l ife, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
If we will love the Lord with all our heart and work diligently to do his will, we may have more control over our future than we realize.
-Wendell Ingram

MY EXAMPLE OF FATHER-HOOD: BY WENDELL INGRAM

 MY EXAMPLE OF FATHERHOOD

By Wendell Ingram

One of the greatest blessings a young man can have while growing up is a father who is living out the biblical principles of Christianity and fatherhood in his daily life. I had just such a blessing growing up and I would like to share a small part of that blessing with you. My dad obeyed the gospel when I was less than a year old and from my earliest memories I have watched him putting God first in his life. In all my years growing up I never saw my dad intentionally miss an assembly of the church. Dad had a number of jobs through the years and he always informed his employers that he was a Christian and attended church on Sundays and Wednesday evenings and would not be working at those times. I’ve seen him turn down a number of good paying jobs because they would interfere with his commitment to Christ. He takes Christ’s promise in  Matt. 6:33  at face value and I’ve  never seen him compromise.

Dad learned the concept of responsibility early. He entered the workforce full time at age 14 when his dad was disabled by a stroke. Dad (one of eleven siblings—seven still at home at the time) quit school in the eighth grade and went to work full time to help support his family.  My dad had a phenomenal work ethic (Col. 3:23). All the time I was growing up my dad had from three to five jobs. Dad was a barber, drove a school bus and sold insurance. But he also served for years as city clerk, worked for the water department, worked as a relief mail carrier as well as various temporary jobs. With so many jobs one might think he had no time for his family, but the truth is, Dad’s schedule brought him home several times throughout the day. Dad’s schedule was flexible enough that he rarely missed my ballgames and other school activities. He had time to take me hunting and fishing and even coach my little league baseball team.

My dad is a wonderful example as a husband. He is a shameless romantic and has written my mom a number of love songs. He loves to whittle and is always making her little trinkets to wear to show his affection. Dad spoils my mom and she will be the first to admit it, but I have never seen a more content and happily married couple (Eph. 5:25-28).  

All my life I watched my dad make sacrifices to help others (Gal. 6:2). I saw him stay up all night (during the work week) with a brother in Christ who was an alcoholic trying to help him through withdrawals. I’ve seen him on numerous occasions close his barber shop to go and help someone in need. He and mom have opened their home on numerous occasions to friends and family members who were having problems, giving them a place to live. For years Dad and Mom made several trips a year to Bole’s Children’s Home south of Greenville, TX, to bring children from the home to stay with our family on holidays and summer vacations (James 1:27). Some of those children (now grown with children and grandchildren of their own) still consider us their family.

I grew up in a small church that had no youth minister, but this was not a problem because my parents made the youth of the congregation their ministry. They hosted youth gatherings in our home and took the young people to youth rallies and gospel meetings. They took our youth bowling, skating  and  for  pizza  outings  and  much  of  the  time  Dad  furnished the money for those who could not afford it .

Through the years Dad and Mom were instrumental in bringing many young people in our community to Bible classes and the assemblies. A number of those young people obeyed the gospel and are still faithfully serving the Lord as adults. My dad has served as one of the song leaders for our home congregation for more than sixty years. For several years he has suffered with COPD and the last three years he has suffered the chronic pain resulting from shingles, yet he continues to lead singing and has not allowed these challenges to interfere with his attendance to the assemblies or his service to the Lord (I Cor. 15:58).

I watched my dad take off work for several weeks to care for my sister during her illness that ultimately led to her death. I watched as he and mom suffered the grief of the loss of their daughter and they endured the pain with the grace and peace that can only come from a secure and enduring faith in God (Php. 4:4-7).   

I watched my dad for years as he cheerfully and respectfully cared for his aging mother and father (I Tim. 5:4) and never heard him complain or imply that it was a burden. My grandma lived almost thirty years after my grandpa passed away and dad made sure she was cared for properly, even going to her house every morning for years and cooking her breakfast to make sure she was eating properly. He and mom (along with other family members) stayed with my grandma and arranged for someone to be with her at all times when she could no longer live alone so she would not have to go to a nursing home.

My dad continues to be a powerful and positive influence, not only to me, but to my children and to my grandchildren as well. He has demonstrated for my son and my grandsons the kind of man they should aspire to be. He has demonstrated for my daughters and granddaughters the kind of man they should look for as they seek a husband. 

The principles of godly fatherhood are clearly set forth in Scripture for every man to read and follow. But it is a double blessing to be able to study these principles in Scripture while observing them being lived out in the life of one’s own father. My prayer is that all Christian fathers would be diligent in living these biblical principles out before their children and grandchildren. It is the greatest gift a man can give to his posterity.   -Wendell Ingram

A description of how we trained our children up in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6)  by one of them. 

WHY I ATTEND EVERY ASSEMBLY:  By Wendell Ingram

I have now been preaching full time for almost twenty years and a big part of my job as a preacher is being present at every assembly to present sermons and Bible class lessons for which I have spent the week preparing. Attending every assembly of the church could be considered a part of my job and certainly, if I were to be absent from the assemblies, it would be impossible for me to do the work the church is paying me to do. I must admit it is easier to attend every assembly when you are a full time preacher because your job requires you to be there. But I do not attend every assembly of the church simply because it is a part of my job to be there.

My parents became Christians when I was only a year old and they grew to understand the commitment they were making to Christ and to his church. I grew up in a family that would not even entertain the thought of being absent when the church met together. They impressed that commitment

upon me and when I was baptized into Christ at age 13, I understood the commitment I was making to Christ and to his church. Like all other Christians, my family faced the struggles of having to choose between work, family, and school activities and being at the assemblies. I can remember, when I was a sophomore in high school, walking

off of the ball field in the 6th inning of a district playoff baseball game because the game had been scheduled on Wednesday evening and it was time to be at the assembly.

That was a difficult thing to do because I had made a commitment to the team. But I realized that the commitment I had made to Christ was of higher priority.

(By the way, the boy that was sent in to take my place at

second base was later baptized into Christ and is a faithful

member of the Lord’s church today).

 

I grew up watching my dad earn a living for our family and not once allowing his work schedule to interfere with his being at the assemblies. One thing he always did when considering a job was to inform his potential employer of the schedule of assemblies and make it clear that he would not be available for work at those times. He was always honest and up front and I never once saw him compromise his convictions, though I did see him turn down some very high paying jobs.

When my Granddad (my mom’s dad who lived three hours away and was not a Christian at the time) came to visit on the weekends he would want us to stay home from church and visit with him. He refused mom’s invitation to go with us to church and he couldn’t understand why we wouldn’t just stay home and visit. Though mom loved her dad very much and didn’t get to see him very often she realized her love and commitment to the Lord had to exceed even her love for her own parents.

(By the way, my Granddad obeyed the gospel on my 21st

birthday. He said one of the factors that led to his conversion was my mom’s uncompromising dedication to Christ and his church).

When I got out of school and entered the work force, I was faced with these challenges of putting Christ first. The first really good job I was offered was driving a delivery truck for a

large milk company. My uncle had recommended me and the job was mine if I wanted it. The job came with a good salary and all the benefits that big companies have to offer, but when I went for the interview, I found that I would be working every other Sunday. I would have been unable to attend the assemblies on those Sundays so I politely refused the job. I’ll never forget how angry my uncle got with me. He couldn’t understand why someone would put “church”before making a living.

At age 19, I moved to Borger,TX, and went to work servicing heavy equipment for a dirt contractor. I had an agreement with the supervisor before I took the job that I would not miss the assemblies and he was always accommodating with my schedule. While living in Borger, I applied for a job with Phillips Petroleum Company. Three times I was offered a very good paying job with the company and all three times I had to turn down the offer because the work schedule conflicted with the schedule of assemblies.

After I got married and had children, the responsibilities of having a family made it even more challenging to hold to my convictions and commitment to Christ. While working as a mechanic for a truck dealership, my supervisor asked me to stay late one Wednesday evening and work on a truck. I told him I couldn’t stay, but I could come back after the assembly and work all night if need be.  He threatened to fire me, and though I now had a wife and family, I put my trust in God, held to my convictions and attended the assembly. I was not fired. The owner of the dealership honored the agreement we had made when I hired on, which was that I would not be asked to miss the assemblies of the church.

Throughout my working life, I have had a number of jobs and working experiences. I have worked for a number of small companies and I have worked for one of the largest companies in the world—Walmart. I have owned and operated my own business, both as a partnership and as a sole proprietor.

For the last 28 years we have owned and operated a small farm where we have worked with livestock, hay and produce. As our children were growing up they were involved in work, school activities and sporting events. We did not allow work, or the farm, or school, or sports to keep us from the assembly of the Lord’s church. I do not hold these convictions because I am a preacher but because I am a Christian and I want to obey the words of Jesus in Matthew 6:33,  "...But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,..."and because I believe and trust the promise of Jesus as he continues, "...and all these things (material possessions) will be given to you as well."

I have done my best, as did my parents before me, to put Christ and his kingdom first in my life. I have made every effort to pass these convictions on to my children and it is my prayer that they will put Christ and his kingdom first in their lives and pass these convictions on to their children as well. I have found that holding to these convictions is not easy and at times leads to persecution. But, I have also found that Jesus keeps his promise to those who seek first His kingdom. This is why I attend every assembly of the Lord’s church.   -Wendell Ingram

WHERE HAVE ALL THE MOTHERS GONE?

WHERE HAVE ALL THE MOTHERS GONE?

Well...some have gone into the workforce by the hundreds and are leaving their little ones in the care of others... craving something they think that being a mother and taking care of their own little ones will not give them.

Not until I grew up and had two little ones of my own, did I fully understand and appreciate my daddy and his striving to fulfill the need of a father/mother figure in the lives of three little ones…ages eight, five and three. Being the youngest (and the biggest responsibility) when our mother died, I wouldn’t have had much choice if my dad had decided to “dole” us out to relatives as they had tried to persuade him to do. He would not even consider the thought of it!

I am made even more aware of his struggle to provide a normal home for us, as I sadly observe the modern home where the father is much too busy and the mother leaves her children in the care of others, in order to provide things for her children and herself that will perish with time. They do not realize until it is too late, the importance of things that will prepare their children for eternity.

I feel most fortunate that my childhood memories do not consist of being left to the care of other people, but of being with my daddy. The lovely, nostalgic fragrance of burning leaves and wood brings back memories of late fall, the year that I was four. My Daddy cut wood to earn money to carry us through the winter and we walked to the woods together. Sometimes it was cold enough that he would build a fire and let me sit close by while he cut wood and kept a watchful eye on me. He always made sure that we left in plenty of time to be home when my brother and sister came in from school. I see few homes today where the children get as much attention from two parents as we did from only one. My Daddy has had a vast amount of influence in the career that I have chosen…Mother-hood.

I don’t remember having much in material things, but what we had, was far above and beyond anything that is of a material nature. In one hundred years, no one will even know or care that we didn’t have the best clothes, toys and houses; however, what my Daddy instilled in my heart and mind will go with me into eternity. He influenced my life so greatly that it saddens me very much to see our mothers of America neglect their children in order to have more of this world’s goods.

Although my Daddy was not a Christian back then, he taught us respect for the Father in Heaven, not even bring himself to call Him “God”, but calling Him, with a deeper reverence, “The Good Lord”. These are the memories I have of my Daddy during my childhood days.
My husband and I were taught the gospel and were baptized into Christ (1 Corinthians 12: 13) when our first child was two months old. Beginning then, I prayed that I could show my Daddy the way to Christ. So with what little time we had to spend with him through the years, we planted the seed of the gospel a little at a time, and strove to be good examples by putting God first in our lives. My heart would ache when our visit would end and we had to travel the one hundred and fifty miles back home. It seemed like so little seed was sown and I would pray that we would have other opportunities to win him to Christ.

Well, it was a very happy day in September of 1977, that my Daddy himself, called to let us know that he and my step-mother had both been baptized into Christ. It just happened to be the same day that our first-born (my Daddy’s first grandchild) turned twenty-one. Twenty one years it took...so don't ever give up on anyone.

My story would not have been complete without the preceding information, but the point I hope to have made is this: If a daddy can be so much of a “mother figure” that his influence is carried over into the lives of other generations, how much greater influences can we mothers be? We, who can stay in our God-given places, can so train and mold young lives in a way that, “…When they are old, they will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

Think about it! Time is running out for many of our children. The adult years are approaching. The moldable years will soon be gone….
©Edna L. Scott Ingram: Via Christian Woman Magazine, February 1978