TO MY GROWN-UP SELF...FROM MY LITTLE GIRL SELF:

Dear Self, I don't know how long it has been since you thought of me, your little girl self.

 

To my little girl self: Oh my! I think of you all the time...remembering the happy times and a few sad times. I wonder how different I would have been if our mother had not died so young. I know you don't remember her at all being only 3. I doubt life would have been a lot different with such a wonderful dad and a grandmother who helped him out a lot...but it would have been easier on them. And everyone talked about what a wonderful person she was.   But I'm looking at that, not used to having a mother and that isn't fair to her. In fact just calling someone "Mother", "Mom" or "Mommy" isn't in my vocabulary and I can't remember when it was. When I speak of her now, I nearly always say "Our Mother".  Her mother and younger sister (who was only 12 years older than I) came to see us pretty often during those days after we lost her and probably before but I don't remember those days.

 

To my grown-up self: Well, in growing up, I remember only one or two times envying my friends who had a mother...but I think there were more times when they envied me. LOL They seemed to want to spend the night with me and my sister a lot. They thought we had more fun at our house.

 

To my little girl self: Our mother was an artist and had a scholarship to go to art school and she married my dad instead. But she drew a lot on the backs of calendars etc,. and Daddy let us play with them...I know his thinking and I respect him for it. I know he was thinking that our mother was taken from us and he wasn't going to take her stuff away from us too....But oh! How I'd love to have her art work now! I don't remember our brother playing with her stuff because he was always making airplanes and doing boy stuff. But we would play school with them and use those for our papers. It wasn't long until we were a little older and we remembered them and realized they were gone. Our brother can draw really well but my sister and I can't at all. We reap what we sow...or destroy. LOL

 

To my grown up self: Now that you are grown up, what single thing did you learn that helped you in your adult life?

 

To my little girl self: Well, I remember being left with a neighbor woman only once because a guy who used dirty language was going to be cutting wood with my dad that day...but all the other times, he took me with him. He always made sure we were at home when my brother and sister came in from school. 

 My dad, being a great mother/father figure made me realize that our children can and may have to...do with out one parent or the other...and if I were going to be one, I need to try to be the best one I could be for them. He had the tough part of being dad but also had the sweet tender part, needed of being a mother. I know you loved him very dearly, growing up...but I know that I love him even more than you did...after learning what life is all about. :)   His influence went a long way into how I view a mother should be. He has been gone now for a little over 40 years (He died on his birthday on August 15, 1978) but I still feel like I have a perpetual hug from him.
 

WHAT MADE THE WOMAN WHO MADE ME.

By Wendell Ingram

 

She was the youngest of three children, born to the family during the depression years in the small Red River farming community of Sugden, Oklahoma.  Her dad was a poor farm worker struggling to feed his family in a time when money and jobs were scarce. 

 

She has few memories of her mother because her mother died when she was only three years old, leaving her dad emotionally devastated with the responsibility of raising his three children alone.  Family members offered to take the children but her dad refused, determined to keep his family together and fill the role of both father and mother.

 

She has fond memories of playing on a quilt in the woods as her dad cut wood nearby.  With an ax and a crosscut saw he cut wood to heat their home and to sell to put food on the table.  She loves days when it snows because it reminds her of snowy days as a child when her dad would make donuts and snow ice cream. 

 

Her dad didn't remarry until all his children were grown and he devoted himself to filling the roles of both father and mother.  As a junior in high school she met the love of her life.  A soldier boy fresh out of the army and more than five years her senior.  Her dad was not pleased with her dating the young man but as he got to know him, he found him to be very respectful and of the highest integrity.

 

In November of her senior year she dropped out of high school and her dad signed the papers for them to get married...….she was 17 years old.  A few weeks later they moved to the Panhandle of Teas and ten months later, at the age of 18, she gave birth to her first child...me.  20 months later she gave birth to my sister, my only sibling.

 

Sometime before my first birthday, she and dad learned and obeyed the gospel.  They were baptized into Christ and worshiped and worked with the Mary Ellen and Harvester congregation in Pampa, Texas.  They had both been raised to have a deep belief in and respect for God and the moral principles of the Bible.  After learning and obeying the truth they quickly grew to understand the total commitment that was expected of true disciples of Christ.  I do not remember a time when God and His church were not the center of their lives.  I do not remember our family ever intentionally being absent from a Bible class or an assembly of the church.  It was in this atmosphere of true devotion to Christ that I was raised...I wish that every child could experience this blessing.

 

When I was 6 years old I contracted a serious and life threatening kidney disease which confined me to bed for about six weeks and under a doctor's care for more than two years.  My mom had gotten her GED and begun college that summer and was intending to enroll in college for the fall semester to pursue a teaching career but had to drop out due to my illness.   She will tell you that my illness was a great blessing to our family because it re-focused her attention on her duties at home and resulted in her continuing her career as a stay-at-home mom.  Having a stay-at-home mother was a great blessing to me nd my sister and again it is a blessing that I wish every child could experience.

 

Mom has been a great influence and encouragement to my wife who stayed at home with our chidren until they were all in school and to my daughter and daughter in law who are both stay at home moms raising our seven grandchildren.  Mom worked diligently to bring her family to Christ.  She first taught her brother the gospel but he was only faithful for a short time before leaving the church.  For years she prayed for him and talked with him at every opportunity trying to encourage him to return to Christ and His church.  It was almost twenty years later that her prayers were answered.  Her brother was driving around one Sunday evening and drove past the church building in Hinton, OK (his home town).  He thought, "I'm going to start back to church one of these days.  "  Then he thought, "Why not today?"  He went into the assembly, responded to the invitation, re-committed his life to Christ and for thirty plus years he served the Lord faithfully  until his death.

 

My mom's dad (my granddad) was a believer in God but not a church goer...he didn't believe that going to church was important.  I can remember him coming to visit us on the weekends and mom inviting him to go with us to church.  He refused to go with us and wanted us to stay home from church to visit him.  He was hurt when mom refused to miss church to stay home and visit and I can remember many times, her crying on the way to church because she loved her daddy and didn't want to hurt him, but she wanted him to know that she loved the Lord even more.  After years of observing my mom's uncompromising faith, my granddad finally grew to understand the importance of spiritual things.  He was baptized into Christ on my 21st birthday and remained faithful to the Lord until his death.

 

I suppose the greatest test of my mother's faith came with the passing of my sister in 1990.  At the age of 32 my sister looked like the picture of health but she was diagnosed with a lung disorder in February of that year  and given only eight months to live.  The disease progressed exactly as the doctors predicted and my sister pass away at her home on October 2nd, with he head laying on my mother's lap and her feet laying on dad's.  While the loss of my sister was devastating to our family, mom was able to look beyond the pain and loss and see the blessings connected with her passing and it served to strengthen her resolve to prepare her family  to be together with the Lord in eternity.

 

My mom served as a children's Bible class teacher for more than forty-nine years and has been a powerful influence in the lives of many children including my own (her grandchildren).  Not only did she influence them in church and Bible class but she and my dad were supportive of all their school activities and sporting events.  My children so respected my mom and day that they sought their approval of their prospective mates before getting married. 

 

Mom and dad are now continuing their positive spiritual influence on their seven great-grandchildren (my grandchildren).  While mom has great respect for the role of women in the church, she IS a preacher.  She has written for the Christian Bible Teacher publication as well as a number of other articles and poems.  She has quite a following on Facebook and other websites and uses these opportunities to share God's Word in other states and in other countries.

 

She is a great encouragement to me as a preacher and to my son who is also a full-time preacher.  My son once told me that when he has a problem, he calls and discusses it with me or his mother, but when he's in need of encouragement he calls his Me-Ma (my mom).  I have had many positive influences in my life but none have been greater than the first influence in my life...my mother. 

 

Thanks Mom, Happy Mother's Day!  -Wendell Ingram

 

  And thank you Wendell, for those sweet words.  Wendell and Cara Lynn were not much of a challenge growing up.  They were very, very easy to raise.  Bobby and I are so thankful for them.